SOON, issue 6: Ashleigh Bryant Phillips is 'Taking Care'
"Just because I’m not churning out for the people doesn’t mean I’m not working. I’m always working. And it’s really nobody’s business but mine."
Welcome to Something Out of Nothing, a newsletter about meaning—making it, finding it, offering it. I talk about the writing life, teaching, thrifting, books, travel, obsessions and idle interests, and much more.
‘Taking Care’ is a questionnaire about how we manage our inner and outer lives as creative people. Once upon an early pandemic, I emailed writer Ashleigh Bryant Phillips out of nowhere after reading and loving her story, “An Unspoken,” published in the Paris Review. Her short story collection, SLEEPOVERS (Hub City Press, 2020), had just come out to rave reviews, so I was stunned when she not only responded to my email but kindly went back and forth with me, a total stranger asking for advice about publishing. Years passed. I’m now teaching “An Unspoken” to my adult fiction students. Lo and behold, Ashleigh remains open and generous to random inquiries! With hardly a pause, she agreed to be the next writer to answer this Q&A. If nothing else, let this anecdote encourage you to email the artists you admire and tell them their work has moved you.
Ashleigh Bryant Phillips is from Woodland, North Carolina. Her collection, SLEEPOVERS, won the C. Michael Curtis Short Story Book Prize. Stories from it appear in The Paris Review and Oxford American. She teaches short fiction at Appalachian State University, co-runs the Hidden Palace Reading Series in Baltimore, and sometimes hosts a radio show called All You Can Eat on Boone Area Community Radio.
Ashleigh! What are you working on?
I cringe when folks ask me what I’m working on/if I’m working on anything. As if we’re all generating for consumption. I’m not a trick pony. I’m not a cow. I’m just a person trying to be more compassionate to my former selves while paying the bills and supporting my people. Just because I’m not churning out for the people doesn’t mean I’m not working. I’m always working. And it’s really nobody’s business but mine. So I find it highly suspicious when folks love talking about whatever they’re working on. As if sharing the work-in-progress makes it real or true. If anything, I think talking about the work-in-progress contaminates it!
What is something you once thought about yourself that you no longer do?
I used to think/believe I was a Christian. That the end of the world could come in my lifetime and there was nothing I could do about it. And it would be the most horrific thing I would ever experience but then Jesus would take me to heaven where I’d see all my dead family members I heard so much about. But now I just realize that man will end the world with war and still, there is nothing I can do about it.
When is bedtime?
I don’t have a disciplined schedule. It’s whenever feels right depending on what I’m doing.
What’s a habit or behavior that feels like taking care of yourself?
Letting my mind be curious—using my imagination to figure shit out. Getting “carried away.” Feeling present. Laughing and riffing with good friends.
What did taking care of yourself look like in your twenties?
Eating a whole thin and crispy Red Baron Supreme Pizza with ranch by myself after working all day. Or getting as close as I could to the stage at rock shows—going inside myself into my own little world in a crowd full of people. Shaking my head and lifting my hands.
How do you prepare yourself to write about particularly difficult subjects?
Whatever emotion I’m feeling real strong makes me write. I don’t really think about it.
How do you recover after doing intense creative work?
I don’t commit to any plans.
What self-care advice rings false for you?
Keeping a routine. Doing the same thing twice.
How do you manage the way ambition feels?
My grandaddy always told me, “You can do anything you set your mind to.” I believe him. But I also try to keep things in perspective and constantly ask myself if I've set realistic expectations.
How can you tell when you’re coming up on burnout?
I can’t. I’m not good at pacing myself. I just know when I’ve been using up all my energy and imagination on obligations (that I don’t wanna do), I feel useless and bored.
What level of “seize the day” are you?
I always have a to-do list for the day but I never finish it. And I’m pretty open to changing plans or doing shit on a whim if it makes sense.
What’s the playlist of late?
YouTube:
Albums:
Diamond Jubilee by Cindy Lee
One Thing At A Time by Morgan Wallen
Nachthorn by Maxime Denuc
These shows on NTS Radio:
https://www.nts.live/shows/56-djs/episodes/56-djs-16th-may-2024
https://www.nts.live/shows/jen-monroe/episodes/getting-warmer-w-jen-monroe-18th-march-2018
How does money, and your relationship to it, provide care or support?
I’ve lived without a safety net for a real long time. I’ve felt trapped. I’ve felt jealous and ashamed. Money’s the root of all evil. I’m uncomfortable around it.
What are some forms of care that you’re discovering, or want to try?
I’ve been ripping through biographies recently. I’ve never read this many in my life.
What’s your relationship to night and day?
I like the mornings best—but only if it’s really early before everyone else is up. But I hardly ever go to sleep early enough for it!
What is comforting to you?
Arabesque no. 1 by Debussy, a banana sandwich, and petting my cat until he falls asleep on me.
Any stuff you’d like to shout out?
R&R Magazine, Huzzah Books, NC State’s 2023-24 March Madness Run, and my short story “Genesis” at Strange Matters Magazine.
Are *you* a creative person? Or do you want to recommend someone for this series? Message me or email directly: asopkin@gmail.com.